


Ode to Egbutt

by SageMasterofSass



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and sings, cuteness, dave writes for john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 00:51:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMasterofSass/pseuds/SageMasterofSass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First, that's so a poem. Second, wurther isn't a word. And third, I love you too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ode to Egbutt

**Author's Note:**

> So I was trying to convince a friend of mine to Roleplay with me when she told me to rap like Dave. The following nonsense ensued.

Okay. This is it. Shit's about to get real.

He takes a deep breath in and lets it out through his teeth, tries to play this whole thing off in his mind as ironic. Would Bro be proud? Fuck, the guy was proud when Dave had accidentally stolen a candy bar when he was seven, he'd definitely be proud of this.

TG: yo  
TG: egbut  
TG: you there man  
EB: hehe yeah sorry  
EB: jade was trying to steal my laptop  
EB: what's up? :B  
TG: nothing  
TG: just wanted to talk to my best bro  
TG: tangle with my número uno  
TG: blab to my bosom buddy  
TG: articulate with my importanto pal  
EB: dave, you're babbling  
TG: shit, sorry  
EB: something wrong?  
TG: nah  
TG: there was just something i wanted to give to you  
EB: ooh, really? :B  
EB: what is it?  
TG: its uh...  
TG: well its  
EB: yeeeeeesss?  
TG: fuck  
TG: i cant do this nevermind  
EB: what?  
EB: aww, come on dave don't leave me hanging!  
EB: i'm sure i'll love it  
EB: unless it's another dead mouse  
EB: in which case i'm cutting you off from all dubstep  
EB: all of it  
TG: hey  
TG: that was fucking hilarious dont diss  
EB: dave  
TG: fuck, im not getting out of this am i  
EB: nope! :B  
TG: ugh  
TG: its not even worth mentioning  
TG: just something dumb i wrote  
EB: gimme gimme gimme gimme!  
TG: no dude  
EB: gimme gimme gimme  
EB: gimme gimme  
EB: gimme gimme  
TG: ugh bro stop no  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
TG: john, stop  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
EB: gimme  
TG: fuck, fine, okay  
EB: yay!  
TG: god you are one annoying little shit  
TG: why did I even do this for you in the first place  
EB: because you looooove me  
TG: ....  
TG: just take it  
TG: make sure you wear headphones when you listen to it  
TurntechGodhead is sending a file!

Somewhere across the country a dark haired boy sat on his bed, laptop resting in front of him, frowning good-naturedly at his screen. He was a pranking master. There was no way in heck Dave was going to get something over him. But his best friend had seemed pretty earnest so...with a shrug he plugged his headphones in and then put the earbuds in his ears, already clicking on the file to open it.

There was a quiet buzz as his laptop processed the data and then the quiet sound of a recording. There was some shuffling and John could just picture Dave moving around in the rolling chair before his desk, uncomfortable in the Texas heat but going through the effort in order to make this (whatever it was) anyways.

"Fuck," came the recorded sigh. "Hey Egdork, I hope I got up the balls to actually send this to you. If I didn't...well then, you wouldn't be listening would you?" John could hear him laugh, a soft, nervous sound and he smiled despite himself. As much as he liked to deny it, Dave really was a big dork.

"So uh, anyways, I kind of wrote this rap for you. And it's totally a rap, not a poem. There's kind of some music that goes to it, but I haven't been able to time it right and shit so you're just going to have to deal with my beautiful, godlike voice. Alright so um....here goes."

There was a moment of silence, and then Dave's voice, filtering through the speakers, tinny and soft. There was a lilt to his tone that made his southern accent stand out but it sounded good in the rhythm he was voicing.

"So black hair and blue eyes  
Have got me about to realize  
That goddamn I'm falling hard  
Gotta play my cards  
Gotta win the game  
Cause shit buck teeth puttin me to shame  
Is that enough or do I need to go further?  
To tell you about my love sick wurther  
He's on my mind  
And in my heart  
And damn can he play the part  
Got me high in the clouds  
And his name on my lips  
But I know if I slip  
He'll be there  
Nothing but me and my Egderp fallin through air"

There was a resolute soundlessness as the last note carried and John sat, perfectly still, until he heard the click that signified the end of the recording. And then he was pulling his laptop closer, teeth over lapping his bottom lip as he smiled hard enough to hurt.

EB: so...first, that was so a poem  
EB: second, wurther isn't a word  
EB: and third  
EB: i love you too

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I tried to get their text color right but ao3 was being very uncooperative.


End file.
